Some friends of mine always complain of being lonely and not having a significant other. Generally, they constantly lament, “I am so tired of doing this life alone.” Their arguments, though valid, are flawed in my eyes. Don’t get me wrong, it is great to have a life companion, children running down the corridors, and a home filled with love and laughter. Yet slices of alone time are an undeniable necessity for each of us. Ask the mother of young children, preschoolers and toddlers who yearn for moments of peace and quiet and any opportunity to bask in the ambience of one’s own self.
Some of us would sacrifice just about anything for a relationship, even staying in an unhealthy union as a means to escape the dreadful curse of the bachelor/bachelorette status! Some spouses are abused, mentally and physically, cheated on, mistreated and yet they would argue – “What will I do without him or her?” Many stay in an unhappy alliance feeling unfulfilled and frustrated, yet the prospect of being alone, is that one thing that keeps them entrapped in the unhealthy relationship. How often have we heard or said the phrase, “I can’t do it by myself.”
A very important factor that we often forget is the importance of learning to live and appreciate self. Before we live with someone else, it is a wise course of action to learn to find first ourselves and thereafter, enjoy the wonders of that newfound self. I think that I am a better person now, because I gave myself the time to grow on my own. Yes, I owe a great deal to my spell of alone time as a love relation-less single guy. I became independent and grew as an individual. I made things happen. I cared for myself, accepting that it was my primary responsibility. Coming in from a hard day’s work to a quiet home was therapeutic. It was a therapy that I truly needed. To fill those lonely times and that void in my life, I started to pursue my passions and eventually found my true purpose.
A question for the one faced with being alone again, “Where were you before him or her? What is the fear of being alone more than a fear of self-insufficiency or a lack of self-confidence? Maybe this fear of being alone has a monetary value? You are concerned with the valid matter of one income versus two. If that is why you stay, recalculate that budget. Perhaps it’s the challenge of lonely, cold nights. Find a hobby, read a book, play sports or write blogs (like me), and strengthen friendships. If you are worried about getting old and not being able to find another partner, remember that there is someone for everyone and that love sees past age and time. Self-growth will serve to prepare for Mr or Ms Right when he or she comes strolling along. Take the time to get familiar with yourself and to find the power within you. If you can be strong, assertive and happy by yourself, think how much better prepared you shall be when you find that special someone to share it all with.
Sometimes being alone is not a bad thing, but rather an opportunity to explore the power and strength of self. It is the key to finding one’s true potential. It is during this alone time that we can come to terms with who we are as individuals, realizing our strengths and weaknesses. Before we share our life with a significant other, let’s learn to enjoy the time spent with ourselves.
It’s better to be alone, than having someone that makes you feel alone… - A
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